Æèë äà áûë â ëåñó ìóäàê
                                            Ïî ïðîçâàíèþ Èâàí
                                            Ðàç çàëåç îí íà ÷åðäàê
                                            È ïîñòàâèë òàì êîïêàí
                                            À íàóòðî êðèêè, âîïëè
                                            Êòî-òî ñòîíåò è êðÿõòèò
                                            Çàðÿäèë ìóäàê áåðäàíêó
                                            È â óãëó ñèäèò, ñîïèò
                                            ×àñ æäåò, äâà, óåáîê ñðàíûé
                                            È äîæäàëñÿ íàêîíåö
                                            Åãî æóòêèé ãîñòü íåçâàíûé
                                            Èç ïîäâàëà âûëåç, ñóêà
                                            È ñïóñêàåòñÿ â êâàðòèðó
                                            Îõóåâøàÿ ñâèíüÿ
                                            Îá êîðó ñòó÷èò êîãòÿìè
                                            Ãðîìêî òîïàåò ïîäëåö
                                            À Èâàí óæ â ñòâîë äâóñòâîëêè
                                            Ñâîé çàñóíóë, ãàä, êîíåö
                                            È äàâàé åãî èì ÷èñòèòü
                                            ×òîá îñå÷êè íå äàëî
                                            Êîãäà áóäåò îí ñòðåëÿòüñÿ
                                            Ñ òåì, êîãî òàì ïðèíåñëî
                                            Íî òóò çàãàäî÷íûé ïðèøåëåö
                                            Î êóñîê ãîâíà ñïîòêíóëñÿ
                                            È íà çåìëþ ñ ãðîìêèì õðóñòîì
                                            È âèçæàíüåì íàåáíóëñÿ
                                            È ïðåäñòàëà ïðåä Èâàíîì
                                            Íåïîíÿòíàÿ êàðòèíà:
                                            Ñ âèäó äåâêà íî âãëÿäåâøèñü
                                            Åáàíåøüñÿ - îáðàçèíà:
                                            Óøè êàê ó íîñîðîãà
                                            Íîãè êàê ó áåãåìîòà
                                            Ëîá êàê æîïà ó ìàíãóñòà
                                            Õâîñò ñâèñàåò ìåæ íîãàìè
                                            Âìåñòî ñèñåê ÷üè-òî ÿéöà
                                            Âìåñòî ãëàç äåðüìà êîìî÷êè
                                            Âìåñòî çóáüåâ â ïàñòè æóòêîé
                                            ×ëåíû êðàñíûå ðÿäàìè
                                            Çàïåðäåë Èâàí îò ñòðàõà
                                            È â øòàíû íàñðàë îáèëüíî
                                            Äà äàâàé ïàëèòü ïî ãîñòüå
                                            Èç áåðäàíêè äðîáüþ âîë÷üåé
                                            Ïîçàáûë ìóòàíò íàèâíûé
                                            ×òî ñâîé õåð òóäà çàñóíóë
                                            È êîíå÷íî ñ ïåðâûì çàëïîì
                                            Îí ðàçíåñ åãî â îñêîëêè
                                            À ÷óäîâèùå ìåæ äåëîì
                                            Íå ñòåðïåëî è èçäîõëî..
                                            Íàêîíåö Èâàí çàìåòèë
                                            ×òî êîíöà-òî îí ëèøèëñÿ
                                            Óäèâèëñÿ îí êîíå÷íî
                                            Íî íå ñèëüíî îãîð÷èëñÿ
                                            Ãîâîðèò ñåáå ñ óñìåøêîé:
                                            "Âîò êàêàÿ åáñü õóéíÿ-òî!"
                                            "Ïðÿì ïî ñàìûå áëÿäü ÿéöà"
                                            "ß ìîâî ëèøèëñÿ äðóãà"
                                            "Íå âåçåò ïèçäåö ñåãîäíÿ!"
                                            È ñ óêîðîì ñìîòðèò ìóäâèí
                                            Íà óáèòîãî èì çâåðÿ
                                            "×òî áëèí" - äóìàåò - "çà æîïà?"
                                            "Íåïîíÿòíîé ñóêà ìàñòè"
                                            "Òî ëè æàáà òî ëè äÿòåë"
                                            "Òî ëè áàáà òî ëè ñëîí.."
                                            "Äàé åå ñíà÷àëà òðàõíó"
                                            "Èçó÷ó ïðîâåðþ â äåëå"
                                            "Ïðè÷åøó ïîòîì ïîáðåþ"
                                            "Òàê è ñòàíó ñ íåþ æèòü"
                                            Íå âðóáèëñÿ ïèäîð ãëóïûé
                                            ×òî îáúåêò åãî æåëàíèé
                                            Îñòûâàòü âîâñþ óæ íà÷àë
                                            Êî÷åíåòü è ðàçëàãàòüñÿ
                                            Íî ïîòîì ïîäóìàâ êðåïêî
                                            Òàê ñêàçàë ñåáå îí ãðîçíî:
                                            "Íå õóéíÿ êàêàÿ âûøëà -"
                                            "Êàê æ åå ñìîãó ÿ òðàõíóòü"
                                            "Åñëè îðãàíà ëèøèëñÿ?"
                                            Äîëãî ðàçìûøëÿë íàä ýòèì
                                            À ïîòîì âçÿâ â ðóêó ñêàëüïåëü
                                            Îí ïîøåë ê êóñòó äðà÷åíû
                                            ×òî ó õèæèíû åâîéíîé
                                            Ðàçðàñòàëñÿ ïîõîòëèâî..
                                            ×åðåç ÷àñ à ìîæåò âîñåìü
                                            Îí âåðíóëñÿ â ñâîþ õàòó
                                            Ïî ïóòè ñòó÷à ïî ïàëüìàì
                                            Äåðåâÿííûì íîâûì õóåì
                                            À ïî äåâóøêå åâîéíîé
                                            Óæå ìóõè âñÿêè ëàçþò
                                            È êëîïû è òàðàêàíû
                                            È ãèåíû è øàêàëû..
                                            Ðàçîãíàâ ãîëîäíûõ òâàðåé
                                            Òðóï îò ïûëè îòðÿõíóë îí
                                            È ÓÇÍÀËÈ ÇÂÅÐÈ Â ÄÆÓÍÃËßÕ
                                            ÍÀ ×ÒÎ ÑÏÎÑÎÁÍÛ ÍÅÊÐÎÔÈËÛ
                                            Íî íåäîëãî äëèëîñü ñ÷àñòüå
                                            Ìîëîäîé ñóïðóæíîé ïàðû
                                            Îíî êñòàòè è ïîíÿòíî
                                            Êëèìàò òàì íåìíîãî æàðêèé
                                            Âñÿêè ìåðòâÿêè è òðóïû
                                            Íå çàëåæèâàþòñÿ äîëãî
                                            Ðàçëàãàþòñÿ â ñåêóíäó
                                            Òàê ñ òåõ ïîð õîäèë Èâàí òîò
                                            È âñåõ âñòðå÷åííûõ çâåðóøåê
                                            Îí ëîâèë çà çàäíè ëàïû
                                            È íàñèëîâàë óæàñíî
                                            Èçâðàùåííî è ñâèðåïî
                                            Ïîêà ñòàðûé ìóäðûé Õàòõè
                                            Îáñïóñêàâ ñâîþ ñëîíèõó
                                            Íå íàøåë â ëåñó ìåðçàâöà
                                            È íå ñåë íà íåâî æîïîé
                                            Âîëîñàòîé è õâîñòàòîé
                                            Ðàçäàâèâ åãî â ëåïåøêó
                                            È íàñðàâ ïîòîì ñ äîñàäû
                                            Ñâåðõó ïûøíîå íàäãðîáüå..
                                            È ñ òåõ ïîð âñå ïèîíåðû
                                            Ïðîáèðàÿñÿ ïî äæóíãëÿì
                                            È íàõîäÿ áîëüøóþ êó÷ó
                                            Ïåðåãíèâøåãî íàâîçà
                                            Ãîâîðÿò ñ ýíòóçèàçìîì:
                                            "Çäåñü ëåæèò âåëèêèé Åáàðü"
                                            "Íà íåãî ðàâíÿòüñÿ íàäî"
                                            "È â òðóäå è â ëè÷íîé æèçíè"
                                            Âîò òàêàÿ áëèí áàëëàäà...